Funny Google Searches – November

It’s time for another roundup of the funniest ways people have ended up on Bench2Business! I was about to say “It’s that time of year again” and tie in a joke about it getting close to Christmas, but then that doesn’t work because I’ve done these posts regularly. The funniest to date is hands down my September roundup, where search terms like “things Canadian” and “similarities absolutely” made me chuckle, and “are you the one of a kind” just made me laugh out loud.

Putting together a post of funny Google searches is a bit like anything else: it keeps getting better with time. Every time I think I’ve come across a new classic, I find another one.

First prize of funniest search term goes to…

  • Are eggs gluten free. Yes they are. I am being a bit mean perhaps for crowing this the most hilarious, because I happen to know a lot about gluten free foods. Other people who are just getting started on a gluten free journey are not going to know all the details. I suppose the reason I found this funny is because it is so obvious to me, and I’d assume someone would first look for what gluten is. From that they would already know that eggs are naturally gluten free, unless you are talking about a Scotch Egg of course. To be fair, good job on their part for educating themselves! Too bad for them it probably lead them to my gluten free, egg free, pancake recipe, and not the answer to their question.

Other funny ways some of you ended up here

  • Massage me in London. It’s grammatically correct and even a coherent sentence. More than I usually see in the funniest Google searches I write about. It even makes sense because I’ve posted an Urban Massage review about getting my first massage at home in London. I’ve even posted an article with tips on getting ready for a mobile massage. The reason this was funny to me is just the choice of words. It’s not a question, it is a statement: “massage me”. A bit like you would give a command to Siri (“Siri, call John’s mobile”).
  • 000 miles. I don’t know what this means. I’ve written about running, and about traveling many many miles. Both were definitely more than 0. Or “000”.
  • How to sound British. Mate…. let me tell you, you can’t. Unless you get some professional voice coaching to adopt a new accent, there is no way to sound British aside from growing up in the UK. The rest of us expats don’t stand a chance. And yes, I don’t sound British, despite people “back home” expecting me to.
  • Reasons to love Toronto. How many do you want? I absolutely love Toronto and I love living in Toronto.
  • Leaving a fundraising career. I’ve changed career direction a few times now. Most notably, I left a career in Academia for the private sector. You can read a little bit about my journey leaving academia here. However, I don’t know specifics about leaving a fundraising career. But I imagine it is as any career change: find your transferable skills and emphasize them when going for your dream job.
  • The health retreat. There are really more than just one, so not sure where the “the” refers to. I really enjoyed Deerfield spa and when there for my own health retreat.
  • 5 similarities. That’s it. That’s all we got. So similarities to what? Reminds me of those puzzles we had as kids where you had to spot the differences. Totally different topic, I know, but it’s what came to mind for me.
  • Santa running outfit. This is a fun one! Reminds me of course of my Santa dash from last year!

That’s it for this month! If you are a blogger, it would be fun if you want to share one of your funny search terms in the comments! If you are not a blogger, it is still fun to see if you remember searching for any funny or odd phrases in the last little while!


Christine Buske is a former academic who left science at the bench, and now considers herself a woman in tech. She is a frequently invited speaker, and enjoys talking about career transformation (particularly leaving academia for the business world), tech, issues around women in tech, product management, agile, and outreach. She is a proud Canadian resident, and qualifies as a "serial expat".

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