I keep an eye on Google webmaster tools to see what search queries bring visitors my blog. The typical search terms that make you land on my site are not usually surprising, but some of them range from hilarious to shocking. Recently, I wrote a post with some funny Google searches, and it is time for another instalment. In January, most traffic came in with travel related search terms. This isn’t surprising, but it still shocks me that my most popular article is my post comparing the easyBus to National Express travelling to Stansted Airport. Another search phrase in the top 10 most popular is “healthy restaurants in bath,” which I did write something about last year. To round things off, “front end web development” has also been a popular way people find my blog since I refreshed my skills in that area last year.
The funniest search queries used are not the most common ones, but these one-offs are worth repeating just for laughs.
16 Funny Google search terms leading to this blog
- Massage order. Some of the funniest search terms are the ones that leave me wondering, “what was the person really looking for?” While this gives a bit of a hint, I am still not sure what they wanted. Did they want to order a massage, or massage an order? I did write a massage review for London based Urban Massage (and it includes a £20 discount code for Urban Massage!) recently, which is why Google thought I might offer the answer to this query.
- Bag retreat at the park. I am at a loss again. I’ve written about doing a fitness retreat last year. Perhaps this was an auto-complete fail and they meant “dog retreat”? And at which park? I really don’t know.
- Best time to visit Toronto. I’d say almost anytime, but you might want to avoid the height of winter. Unless you are prepared to shovel your way out of your hotel/AirBnB through this:Although Toronto can keep you warm with its underground walkways. In fact, another search query I was able to answer was “where in the world is the largest underground shopping complex“.
- Best pizza in East London, is becoming a frequently occurring search term as well. My personal opinion for the best pizza in London is Crate, of course.
- Economics Tutor Toronto. My best guess is that someone found my blog this way because I used to tutor economics when I was at the University of Toronto.
- Cycling dutch girl. This showed up in the list last time as well, and it is still popping up. I have no clue what people are looking for in regards to cycling dutch girls, but I am also not so sure I want to know.
- Best gloves for running. I was just thinking about this last week. Without making specific recommendations, the best gloves I ever found were quite long and covered a good part of my forearms beyond my wrists. As you are moving, it isn’t nice to have that cold gap of exposed skin between your gloves and your top or jacket when your gloves are too short. If you find gloves like this, get a few pairs because they are hard to come by. I’ve been looking myself!
- How long is my running route. I have no idea. But I can tell you about my favourite running route in London if you’d like to know.
- Sinterklaas in London. This one makes sense because I wrote about celebrating Sinterklaas as an expat, although it is a funny search for January given Sinterklaas was in December.
- How to pack fruit for travel. I’d say it depends and it seems a bit silly to ask Google. You might choose Tupperware, a ziplock bag, or some other packing method. I never wrote about the topic, except when I recommended fruit as a healthy travel snack.
- How much is it to go up the CN tower. It was, when I last checked, around $30+tax to visit the CN tower. I’d recommend instead of paying to go up, visit the CN tower for free by eating in the restaurant at the top. A meal will run you slightly more than the ticket price, but you get dinner out of it, a free ride up, and a chance to spend quite a bit of time at the top.
- Interesting places to eat in Toronto. This relates back to #11. The CN Tower is definitely an interesting place to eat, but if you are looking for some more options here are some of my favourite restaurants in Toronto.
- Picadilly tube toronto. This one is hilariously confusing (and misspelled). The Piccadilly line is in London, not in Toronto. Sometimes there are street names in Toronto that are identical to their London counterparts, but this one is far off. If you are looking or the Piccadilly line in Canada, you need to rethink where you really want to go.
- Average 5k running time. Is there an average? Probably there is, but I have no idea. It will surely depend on gender, fitness level, and other factors. This has to be one of those averages that would be entirely meaningless to the individual runner. The best average to go by is your own, after all, that is the running time you want to be improving?
- r cycling. From a related search query, “r a cycling” I figured out this person was likely looking for this cycle store. The reason they might land on my page is actually funny though. I wrote about how I put my data science skills to use by analyzing my cycle data using R programming.
- Creepy skyline. Hands-down the funniest one this month. I have no idea what a creepy skyline is meant to look like. I’ve definitely never covered it in any of my articles. Out of curiosity I typed it into Google image search, and the results were either Halloween themed or skylines in stormy weather.
This rounds off the list of funny Google search terms using this month. This is also becoming one of my favourite topics to write about because it never fails to make me laugh a few times. Can’t wait to see what next month has in store!